If you're anything like me, there are some memories you'll hold onto for the rest of your life. You'll carry people and treasured moments with you - memories of another time and place, another set of circumstances. Sometimes you'll take them out, as you would a favorite photo from a shoe box and, for a few moments, allow yourself to simply remember.

A smile will light your face and eyes as you reminisce and feel the pressures of the moment fade into the background - until a sudden movement or interruption steals your attention. The memory is shelved for another time and place, though you don't have full control over when it will draw your attention again.

We all have bad memories and carry regret about one thing or another but, if you're anything like me, some of the good memories you made are those which should never have taken place, according to many people. However, I fail to see how an encouraging word, a hug and pair of listening ears should be something to frown upon, especially during periods of desperation. If a person seeks to understand another, it should count for something. If a person tries to help lift another from a dark and painful place, it shouldn't be considered wrong.

Granted, depending upon the situations of the people involved, things can evolve. Priorities can get mixed up quickly and relationships can be destroyed in the process, which is easy for an outsider to see. However, if you're anything like me, during the moment when you're feeling your lowest, you don't think about the spouse/family waiting for someone at home. Every thought you have is concerned with trying to survive the nightmare you've been dealt. The person trying to help you through the situation is considered a gift from Heaven itself.

When trying to help someone walk through the lowest valley of their lives, if you're anything like me, your first instinct it to help the person come through the ordeal without going through an increased level of anxiety and suffering. Everything in life becomes secondary as you're trying to encourage the person in front of you to choose life instead of committing suicide, to take a small step in faith instead of falling into the depths of despair. You say what needs to be said. You provide a listening ear. You try your best to understand, and reach, the person in front of you. In short, you do what needs to be done to ensure the person you're trying to help comes out a survivor.

Admittedly, my soul carries some battle scars - scars I would hope others never have to endure, yet I know many people do. They live with regret in so many areas - things they wish they could have done differently, said differently or not done at all. Yet, if you're anything like me, you've stopped berating yourself. You've said "Goodbye" to continually putting yourself down because you feel others think you should be doing so. Instead, you embrace the future, accepting your past for what it is - something which can't be altered or reversed - something you can learn from as you continue to take those baby steps forward each day you awaken and start another day anew.
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If you're anything like me, you'll find yourself revisiting those memories, especially when times are tough. Your smile will light your face and eyes as you remember a time and place when, in your soul, you knew that someone cared enough to listen, regardless of what time would bring.

Daddy was married but fell in love with Mommy; I came from the love they shared. Let me tell you the short story, as I know it:

Mommy was kidnapped and Daddy came to her rescue. Someone tried to kill her in the hospital but, luckily, Daddy was in the room at the time and was able to save her life again. A bond developed as they ran for their lives and, in the process, fell in love.

When it was safe for everyone again, Mommy knew she had to leave Daddy. She loved him with all of her heart but felt guilty for getting so close to him. She boarded a plane and learned she was having me a couple of months later.

I've watched Mommy crying a lot through the years - times she didn't know I was around. I mastered the art of being quiet because, in my soul, I knew she needed to grieve...but I wished God would bring Mommy and Daddy together. It was the only prayer I really had; it was as much for them as it was for me because I knew my Daddy would love me as soon as he met me.

Mommy and Daddy weren't the only people who did something they shouldn't have done...but, if they didn't fall in love, I wouldn't be here. I can't imagine that. I like walking with God when the wind whispers through the trees, and I like talking to Him every day when I sit beside the river - and every night before I go to sleep. I feel good when I help people. I enjoy hugs and seeing people smiling because something I did made them happy.

Is it really possible I shouldn't have been born? Some people would say that; they wouldn't care about how I felt because I was the result of a wrong relationship. It makes me want to cry because I know, deep down, God approves of me. He made me and He loves me just as much as He loves the kids born to married parents. 

God had a reason for creating me so, when people try to make me sad - to make me feel like I'm dirty - I remember God whispering in my ear, reminding me that He loves me, and always will.

God has been my Father all my life but the relationship between Mommy and Daddy, not to mention everything which happened back then, was An Affair to Remember and I still wanted to meet my daddy. I'm glad God answered my prayer and I know When Love Abides, God can turn tragedy to triumph.

If you'd like to learn more about the story, when the relationship between Mommy and Daddy started, you'll want to read An Affair to Remember. If you'd rather just learn what happened when I came on the scene, be sure to read When Love Abides but I still think you'll appreciate everything more if you start at the beginning.

Lately, Daddy has been telling me a little about a man named Jack Steele. It seems he has a story of his own which will be shared in another book, Soul Confessions. I can't wait to meet him!

Anyway, thank for letting me share some of my thoughts with you. It's been a real pleasure and I hope you take a few minutes to watch the book trailer below. I think it's cool.

​Hope Townsend

If Only is a powerful story which is sure to affect your emotions on many levels as you read about, and get to know, the various characters. As teens, Demi and David fell in love; unbeknownst to David, Demi conceived and later gave their baby girl, Alexa, up for adoption.

David couldn't understand why Demi left but respected her wishes. Demi couldn't understand why David didn't come pounding on her door. Eventually, both moved on with their lives - going on to get married and having a couple of children each.

Advance the calendar 16 years. Demi feels concerned about her firstborn daughter. She can't say she feels her daughter is in danger but she feels unsettled in her spirit. Previously, when she thought about Alexa, she was able to move on with her day and set thoughts of her firstborn child aside. Not now. A couple of detectives couldn't find her. In desperation, she called the only detective she knew who would never give up until he found her - Alexa's father.

As you might imagine, there is bound to be tension when the truth is revealed, especially among Demi and her husband, David and his wife. As the story unfolds, you may experience feelings of shock and even be tempted to jump to the end to see how the book ends. Don't do such a disservice to yourself because the ending will leave you with questions if you don't take the entire journey.

Available on Kindle and in paperback at Amazon and through Createspace.

"I am blown away...tempted to jump to the end...but I can't! I want to read every word. This is absolutely one of your very best!" ~ author Michael Phelps

" I am a David. This book brought memories back to me long forgotten." ~ Ronovan Writes

"This is a book I'd give six stars to if I could. I envy you. You still get to read the book!" ~ author Dianne Harman

"I love when art, in this case writing, imitates life. Norma Budden has created a story with characters that are very believable." ~ Sandra K. Stiles

"This was an uplifting story of change and growth between two adults who felt the need to atone for decisions made as young adults. Our past always follows us, and Norma Budden leads her readers on a journey of love and acceptance one will not soon forget." ~ Colleen Chesebro

"I am a #1 Fan of Norma Budden's writing. I will read and love anything she writes because of the emotion, reality and just pure feelings that she puts into her characters to make us love them." ~ Dee Fleischman

"Norma Budden does not disappoint. It was a page turner that I simply could not put down." ~ Caity